Life and Death

Have you ever wished that someone was dead? No, I’m not talking about a certain leader of a well-known terrorist organization; although considering recent events I would imagine that is the first thought that pops into many people’s head when posed with this question. So let me rephrase: have you ever wished that someone you loved dearly would die? It’s a bizarre statement to make and perhaps even more surreal to read it as I type, but I must answer in the affirmative; watching a loved one suffer is horrible.

The last week has been a whirlwind of emotion and surprise. I knew my trip back home to Oregon would not be the usual fun vacation I’m accustomed to, but I don’t think I realized the degree of loss and sadness I would ultimately experience. I boarded a plane at Regan National Airport last Saturday, near my current residence in Alexandria, VA to return home to visit my Uncle Bill who was admitted to a hospice the day before. In a surprising and upsetting turn of events, his twin brother (my Uncle Jim) died in his home sometime the following day on Easter Sunday. Maybe it was some weird cosmic twin connection, but needless to say it has been a rollercoaster week.

I don’t mean to be a “Debbie Downer”, but I think it’s important to bring up this week’s events because they have prompted a major lifestyle change as well as this (narcissistic?) jump into the blogosphere. I don’t know how your family mourns, but I can tell you that we mourn through food. Eating familiar comfort foods somehow makes life seem a little better and eases the pain. Perhaps this because it’s extremely difficult to cry while shoving gooey homemade lasagna into your mouth, or blow a runny nose while simultaneously blowing piping hot chicken soup. Whatever the reason, for me food is a method of coping and based on my current figure, I’ve been dealing with a lot this year.

With that said, and inspiration from Barbara Kingsglover’s book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, I’ve decided to attempt to alter my relationship with food. Mainly I’d like to break up with processed foods and begin a serious relationship with locally grown organic fruits, vegetables and meats. As a chronic dieter, I know that restricting what I eat will only lead to late night binging and inevitable defeat, so the goal of this project is not to lose weight (although I’d be lying to say I don’t want that to happen as a result of this experiment), but rather to eat a healthier more well-rounded diet that consists of foods whose origins are known to me. More specific rules to follow... Here goes nothing!